Beauty is powerful. It opens doors to opportunities, alters moods, and entices us to covet. Beauty has been known to start wars, induce violence, and break hearts; and yet, many of us do not teach our children how to use or appreciate beauty gracefully.
We often tell our children that it’s what’s on the inside that counts; that being pretty isn’t important, or we reduce beauty to shallow sexuality. Whether beauty appears in an alluring outward appearance, a magnificent mind, or hands that create lovely things; we need to respect the power that these gifts hold.
It is our job to teach and train our children how to navigate a world where beauty rules. First, allow yourself to see and accept beauty in your child and know that it looks different in different people. Second, help your child understand the beauty they possess and how to deal with it. Teach your child that anyone who humiliates, insults, or uses their gift to receive free things is abusing their power. If your child has a magnificent mind they can be proud without mocking those who struggle. You can teach that child to help others achieve academic goals, and how to tactfully correct mistakes. If your child creates beautiful things take pleasure in the object’s appearance and encourage her to make more. If your child is physically beautiful teach him to respect his body, how to receive a compliment gracefully, and how to kindly decline a date with an admirer. Beauty attracts people; and without honest relational conversations our children can hurt or be hurt unintentionally.
Finally, we also need to address the frustrations that consume our children when they feel ugly, stupid, or talentless. We must begin conversations that heal; about the real concerns and feelings of our kids. Please don’t ignore your child’s struggle or offer clichés. Instead, book the dermatology appointment, get up early to jog or lift weights with your child; and embrace the haircuts, make-up, and plucking tools. Spend the cash for the music and art lessons; and go to the theater, art museums, and concerts. Supporting the beauty your child longs for is critical. Our world can be cruel, but through relational listening and gentle guidance, our children can learn to govern the beauty that they possess and encounter.