“In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.” – Albert Einstein
Social emotional development is paramount to happiness and success. We grow when we understand and manage emotions, set and achieve goals, show empathy, establish positive relationships, and make responsible decisions. I know, it’s a lot, so I’d be remiss if I didn’t tell you that the best way to do this is with a life coach or counselor. In the meantime, I’ve got some tips to help you get started.
Emotions: We have emotions for a reason, and we can learn to use them for good. By learning to observe our emotions, we can separate from them, identify them, and control them instead of them controlling us. It’s a process, but you can start by identifying the primary emotion. Hint – it is rarely anger and goes way beyond happy and sad. See if you can identify when you feel the following during this next month: Relief, Amusement, bitterness, thrill, resentment, enthusiasm, optimism, dread, and caution. Write them down.
Empathy: We show empathy when we not only understand another person’s feelings but also share in the feeling – seeing life from their perspective. The world seems to expect two extremes; share everything you have or keep everything for yourself. I would say that both are wrong. Empathy requires that you know yourself and your biases so that you can live in balance. Share and care with others, but not to the detriment of yourself or family. Start by assessing what you have, what you need, and deal with your biases. Make lists and reparations as needed. Decide what you are able to share; be it money, time, or skill. Decide what you need from others and ask. It is very important to have strong self-esteem and boundaries when you work on the skill empathy.
Decision Making: Decision Making requires a wise mind. A wise mind knows how to balance emotion and reason so that our decisions aren’t robotic or rash. Dr. Marsha Linehan developed this concept when she developed DBT, and it is useful in many areas. If you use only your emotional mind when making a significant decisions you might utilize only your desires or fears, if you utilize only your reasonable mind, you are looking only at pros and cons. The wise mind weighs both the emotional and logical so you can make a wise choice that aligns with your values and long term goals. Look at all these pieces and write them down, talk them over with someone you trust, and make a wise decision.
Remember… Social emotional development is paramount to happiness and success. “Don’t go through life, grow through life.” – Eric Butterworth