Everyone has needs, wants, and priorities. Sometimes these things get muddled in the mix of shoulds, envy, and comparisons. As January comes flying in, we often feel like we should “do better” at something…anything…be smarter, be thinner, be richer, be more successful, or just be different than we are. This is exhausting and frankly, unhealthy and self-sabotaging. So let’s not.
Instead, let’s take a deep breath and factually review our lives. Here are some tips:
Self: How was your physical life this past year? How often did you have to see the doctor, miss work, or miss out on an activity? If the number is low, than your health is pretty good. If the number is high, then speak to your doctor or therapist about what changes are needed.
Community: How healthy is your relationship with your partner? (Issues in this area are rarely one sided and need both people to be working on the relationship. Therapy is helpful.) How healthy are your relationships with your friends? (Healthy here means that everyone benefits and everyone gives. Sometimes boundaries need to be set.) How often do you engage with the community? (Community engagement is important but should not be exhausting. If your cup is full, you are balanced, if your cup is empty, you are doing too much.)
Work /Finances: How are you doing financially? The purpose of work is to earn the money that provides you and yours with shelter, food, safety, and fun. One’s responsibility within the job is to do one’s best kindly and professionally while providing the services for which one is hired. Are you staying within these parameters or are you treating your job like the love of your life? (Boundaries may be needed.)
Boundaries definition: limits created that define what is acceptable and healthy for you in a relationship.
“If you want to be happy, do not dwell in the past, do not worry about the future, focus on living fully in the present.” – Unknown