I took a year sabbatical after a serious medical condition hit me out of the blue. I’m self-aware and listen to my partner, so I complied when he said, “You need therapy and time to recover.” The road has been long, lonely, and difficult. I’ve learned a lot about what I need, want, and am willing to do going forward.

Though I’ve always been a boundary setter, I’m better now. Though I love to learn new skills for my clients, I’ve learned new skills that also benefit me. I seek good vibes now, things that help me grow and have joy and are reachable. I’m an overcomer. I’ve grown. I have stopped holding space for others and have started holding space for myself.

The financial sacrifices have been many. My partner also entered therapy in order to learn a new normal. We chose to stay together in order to create joy and love and future. Staying together through tough times is a decision, and we didn’t make it lightly.  We dismantled some expectations and planted new seeds. It has been difficult and rewarding and worth it. We now co-create a beautiful life we enjoy together.

I’ve embraced the changes in my body and my body’s limitations. It wasn’t easy.  I’ve started new hobbies and gone new places. I’ve identified a new awakening. It is glorious and scary and needed as is change of most sorts. To put oneself out in this scary world is a brave thing. What has mattered to me is seeking the feeling of joy, the thoughts of justice, and the physicality of less pain. I choose to live in a state of becoming and it is freeing.

To choose living over surviving is a gorgeous thing!

-me